asked 11 years ago Pozdrav od A.* 34 god.Moj problem je sto ne znam sta zapravo zelim u zivotu.A kako mi godine prolaze sve sam vise opterecen time.Preduzetnik sam, dobro zaradjujem s obzirom na opsti krizu u zemlji.Sto se tice finansijske strane mogu reci da sam bezbrizan.Nezadovoljan sam sredinom u kojom zivim.Mali nerazvijen grad bez mnogo mogucnosti.Razmisljam da se negde preselim ali ne znam gde bih, a i ne ostavlja mi se dobar posao.U braku sam 2 godine, koji je pred razvodom.Nisam bio siguran da li da uopste ozenim svoju sadasnju zenu, jednostavno sam presekao.I ispostavilo se da sam nezadovoljan.Ne odogovara mi sex sa njom, imamo razlicita interesovanja, ume da bude fina ali i jako drska i bezobrazna.Ne mogu da presecem da li da se razvedemo ili ne i tako se vucemo duze vreme.Upoznao sam drugu devojku sa kojom se vidjam zadnjih mesec dana.U pocetku mi se jako svidela ali mi vec nesto ne odgovara.Stalno bih da menjam dok ne nadjem odgovarajucu.Ima li uopste takve ili ja se ja trebaam promeniti.Nemam taj osecaj za stvaranjem porodice, dece.A cesto se osecam usamljenim sada kada se zena preselila.Cesto mi prija kad sam sam ali bih ipak da imam nekog pored sebe.U principu nemam jasne ciljee i ne znam sta zapravo zelim kad je u pitanju emotivna veza a i uopste.Izbegavam da pricam sa porodicom, rodbinom i prijateiljma o svojim problemima.Gledam uvek da se skolnim i da budem sam.A ne prija mi to jer zelim vise kontakta sa okolinom.U poslednjih 7-8 godina skoro sve devojke sa kojima sam bio sam upoznao preko interneta.Nekako se skanjam iz javnosti i nezim puno kontakata.Sta raditi?
*Administrator je radi zaštite privatnosti ukolino lično ime i zamenio ga inicijalima.
Psihoterapeut Team Staff answered 11 years ago Poštovani,
Psiha je slojevita i duboka. Ona kao ni život sam ne odaje svoje tejne tako lako već traži posvećenost korz koju rastemo.
Kada se na nekom životnom planu kao što je partenrski odnos ili porodica nalazimo u relativnom zastoju, moguće je da u nama za to postoje dublji uzroci. Ovi uzroci obično su na naki način povezani sa našom istorijom, sa našim iskustvima u sferi intimnosti i porodičnog života, sa našom primarnom porodicom i dubokim, manje ili više nesvenim uverenjima koja su se u u njoj obrazovala. Da bi se ovi uzroci osvestili i restruktuirali (onoliko koliko je to moguće i potrebno), potreban je psihoterapijski rad ili sličan rad na sebi neke druge vrste.
Vi govorite o svojevrsnoj neukorenjenosti, o izostajanju dublje emotivne povezanost, i o, ako sam dobo razumeo nižem prisustvu ambicije za realizacijom kroz stvaranje porodice i ulogu oca. Traženje sa samim saobom i sa druim ljudskim bićem u sferama intimnosti koje za rezultat ima osnivanje porodice predstavlja sferu razvoja koja čoveku u vašim godinama daje nove mogućnosti osmišljavanja svoje egzistencije. Svakao ima osoba sa kojima smo više ili manje kompatibilni ali idealnog odnosa i ljubavi verovatno nema. Umesto toga, u okolnostima stvaranja porodice usmereni samo na saradnju koja na površinu izvlači sve naše demone kako bi smo se sa njima suočili. To je sfera beskonačnog učenja i traganja za razmenom i intimnošću ali i samostalnošću i samodovoljnošću, prihvatanja ali i prilagođavanja sebe kao i podržavanja partnera da se i sam prilagođava.
Problem o kome govorite može se podvesti pod krizu smisla u životu savremenog čoveka. Naši preci uglavnom su bili zaokupljeni borbom za golu egzistanciju i nastojanjem da se između učestalih ratova okuće. Borba za opstanak bila je područje u kojem su potvrđivali svoje herojstvo a nagrada je bila život sam. Promena vremena u kome živimo izgleda donekle menja izazove koji pred nama stoje. Izazov kreiranja životnog smisla pred čovekom današnice izgleda stoji na nešto drugačiji način. Veća sloboda i veće mogućnosti često čine da se oćemao dezorjentisano i prazno. Ne znamo u kom pravcu bi se investirali. Zbunjuje nas mogućnost da pred sebe postvimo pitanje šta je ono što želimo od svog života.
Izgleda da je herojstvo savremenog čoveka upravo u borbi sa ovim pitanjem, u borbi i hrabrosti traganja za odgovorm, u borbi upoznavanja i preispitivanja svoje ličnosti i prirode. Egzistencijalni smisao izgleda nije tako lako dostupan i traganje za njim izgleda traži od nas ozbiljnu posvećenost. Ova posvećenost je upravo ono što savremenom čoveku nedostaje, nenevikutom da gleda u sebe, da traga, da oseća, da promišlja. Nedostatk posvećenosti, pasije, ljubavi, žara, ono je što čini da se osećamo prazima. Kroz zastoje, patnje, bolesti i rezne vrste psihičkih sinptoma koje se danas javljau u izobilju život nas poziva da tragamo za novim načinima na koje će mo se posvetiti upravo sebi i svom životu. Tako klešemo naš specifični put i naš životni smisao se ponovo rađa i diše kroz pasiju samospoznaje, duhovnog rasta, isceljivanja.
S poštovanjem, Nikola
Psihoterapeut Team Staff answered 9 years ago Da li si pronasao odgovor na pitanje Sta zelim?
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